July 2025
First we had “Rick-rolling.” Now we have getting “Coldplayed!”
There’s an old saying that “Two things can be true at the same time.” Yes, Andy Byron, the CEO of Astronomer, and his HR Director, Kristin Cabot, whose affair got exposed at a Coldplay concert (Yeah, there first mistake was going to a Coldplay concert) do have family members who are suffering right now, and we shouldn’t make such a big joke of this incident (Seriously, Coldplay?).
It’s also true that this incident is pretty damn funny! And there’s something for everyone. Adding to the hilarity of how they got caught, there’s the endless memes, people doing their own satirical recreations, the fact that Chris Martin and other singers are now asking those featured on the Kiss Cam if they are actually a couple, and people are now going to concerts with signs that say, “This is my wife.”
Some bands are even advertising their concerts as “Kiss Cam Free,” or at least, that they “safe” areas in the venue.
This should also please many at Astronomer, who I understand from various news sources, are happy to see Byron have such a spectacular fall from grace. These people are living the dream of many who have to suffer through a bad boss.
Byron is apparently denying a letter posted the next day was actually written by him. It was pretty narcissistic of him to complain about his “privacy” violated by being filmed. Yeah, except there is no expectation of privacy in a public place.
The worst part of this whole incident for the outed couple, is if they hadn’t freaked out and tried to hide, the moment would have passed uneventfully, and no one, other than those in the box with them, would have known anything about them. They certainly wouldn’t be the inspiration for getting “Coldplayed,” something that will live forever on the internet.
As someone who was cheated on over 30 years ago (and it still hurts, by the way), I don’t condone cheating. However, if you are going to cheat, you risk getting caught, so don’t blame anyone but yourself when you inevitably do get caught, and you will eventually get caught.
There’s always someone who knows about your affair, whether it’s your secretary, your best friend, a coworker, a previous lover seeking revenge, or going to a Coldplay concert. They may not intentionally let slip about your extracurricular activities, but things do get said when they shouldn’t get said.
Speaking of someone who knows something, I want to know what Alyssa Stoddard knows. Stoddard, the woman in the lower left of the video with a cat-that-ate-the-cannery smile on her face and shielding the left side of her face with her hand, is the Senior Director, People at Astronomer. She seems to be enjoying a great moment of schadenfreude.
I personally wish to nominate this story as news story of the year, and the video and photos for their top awards.
Sources: https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/cx20z3ykd9ro & EVERYWHERE on the planet.
