June 2025
On 22 June, the second annual Ontario Police Suicide Memorial service, held on the grounds of the Ontario Police Memorial beside Queen’s Park in Toronto. This ceremony and what it signifies means a lot to me. I’m a retired West Grey Police Service officer and I almost ended up on the Honour Roll. Thankfully, I was able to get the help I needed for my PTSD and alcoholism, although I never returned to active duty. I’m proud to say that I’m a recovering alcoholic (as opposed to a practicing alcoholic) of 9 years and 3 months.
Unlike the existing police memorial, which pays tribute to police officers killed in the line of duty, this new memorial pays tribute to those who died “Because of the line of duty.”
Organized by Toronto Beyond the Blue, the Toronto chapter of Canada Beyond the Blue (CTTB), a national non-profit organization with chapters across Canada, that has been advocating for the establishment of a permanent, physical monument to officially memorialize police officers who have died by suicide.
Dilnaz Garda, the current President of Toronto BTB, and Vice-President of Canada BTB, was the main speaker at the ceremony, something that she fought . Garda is also the sister of Toronto Police constable Darius Garda, who died on 3 February 2016, consumed by PTSD brought about by the guilt he felt as a result of a fully justifiable shooting in 2009, involving a man suffering a mental health crisis.
Other speakers at the ceremony included Ontario Premier Doug Ford, Ontario Solicitor General Michael Kerzner, Toronto Police Chief Myron Demkiw, Clayton Campbell, president of the Toronto Police Association and Mark Baxter, president of the Police Association of Ontario.
While a separate physical monument has yet to be erected, Toronto Beyond the Blue decided to hold the long-overdue ceremony for the first time last year. Suicide still has a negative stigma and holding a special ceremony to acknowledge the loss of officers lost goes a long way to recognizing their service in a respectful way, rather than just pretending that nothing tragic happened.
Law enforcement has long been recognized as a dangerous and stressful occupation, where police officers frequently see and experience traumatic events. Sometimes the impacted officers are able to shake off these traumatic events, occasionally because it genuinely doesn’t bother them, but usually it’s due to the stoic resolve that showing natural emotion is seen as weakness. Continued exposure to traumatic and highly stressful events can slowly chip away at this stoicism, leading to self-destructive behaviours, up to and including suicide.
To date, 56 officers are listed on the memorial, including West Grey Police Constable Cory Trainor, who took his own life, while on-duty, in February 2020. I was proud to lay a rose in his honour during the service, placed in a vase near his service forge cap, resting on a satin pillow. Although I never knew Cory personally, as he replaced me when I retired, I did know of him, so it was still a horrible punch to the gut when I found out he died.
As a survivor, I do take some solace in that attitudes are changing regarding mental health issues, but we still have a long way to go; maybe still a generation away, as those old attitudes are still present in the many of the long-serving police members. An analogy that I use is this: When you break your arm, people can see that it’s broken by the cast. When it’s your mind that breaks, people think you are faking it.
The Ontario Police Suicide Memorial is an important element in bringing awareness of Operational Stress Injuries and the negative stigma that has so long been associated with those officers who die “Because of the line of duty.”
Visit Beyond The Blue | Support to Police Members and Their Families for more information.
Also read: Because of the line of duty – Honouring Ontario police officers lost to suicide – Canadian Military History.
Canada Beyond The Blue June Newsletter.
