Police cruiser. Photo: Bruce Forsyth.
February 2020
You Might Be a Small-Town Cop If…
1. You ever got a call from the Mayor asking why you stopped his cousin, brother, or nephew.
2. Billy Bob shows up at the station because he heard you were looking for him.
3. Your backup had to be called at home, then had to go down to the station to get a patrol car, then drive 20 miles to your location (and if you’re the only one available and the bar fight call comes in, well, you handle it).
4. You can get a middle-aged drunk to shut down by asking, “What would your momma think if she knew how you’re acting?” or you just walk to the next table and tell her to get her kid to cool down.
5. Instead of giving an address, the dispatcher gives the location as “next to the old Smith house that burned down 10 years ago.”
6. You ever drove a police car in such bad shape you’d have pulled it over for a safety check if anybody else was driving something that bad.
7. Instead of calling dispatch, the citizen calls your house, regardless of whether you are on-duty or not.
8. You ever had to do all your reports with a ballpoint pen and carbon paper or on an old typewriter that had at least one key that would type the letter a little higher or lower than the rest of the line.
9. You’ve had to give the phone number of the diner where you took your break because you didn’t have a portable radio, or the only portable radio that the force has is in the shop for repairs.
10. You knew – or know – the names of every shit-rat in town.
11. When seeing a drunk staggering down the road, you gave them a ride home instead of taking them to the drunk tank.
12. The radar gun you are using is older that you are.
13. You don’t need to bother chasing a suspect who flees from you because you know exactly where they live, work, hang out, and know that they don’t have the resources to go anywhere else.
14. You ever walked down the street from the police station to arrest someone.
15. Your police station is smaller than your apartment.
16. You know the identity of a suspect from even the even the vaguest of descriptions, like a male wearing a leather jacket any time of the year or a male missing an arm.
17. Your Chief sets a mileage restriction for the cruiser of 30 miles per shift to save on gas.
Sources: https://www.policeone.com/rural-law-enforcement/articles/10-signs-youre-a-small-town-cop-3OKgyCIpMGworLSF/?utm_source=PoliceOne+Member+Newsletter&utm_campaign=eeffa8b889-EMAIL_CAMPAIGN_2020_01_16_09_25&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_ca044a84ea-eeffa8b889-42453239
