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#16 – “You know, stop lights don’t come any redder than the one you just went through.”
#15 – “Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they’re new. They’ll stretch after you wear them a while.”
#13 – “If you run, you’ll only go to jail tired.”
#12 – “Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that’s the speed of the bullet that’ll be chasing you.”
#11 – “You don’t know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?”
#10 – “Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don’t think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I’m the shift supervisor?”
#9 – “Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I’m warning you not to do that again or I’ll give you another ticket.”
#8 – “The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?”
#7 – “Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop.”
#6 – “Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven.”
#5 – “In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC.”
#4 – “How big were those ‘Just two beers’ you say you had?”
#3 – “No sir, we don’t have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we’re allowed to write as many tickets as we can.”
#2 – “I’m glad to hear that Chief (of Police) Hawker is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail.”
The envelope please………………… AND THE WINNER IS….
#1 – “You didn’t think we give pretty women tickets? You’re right, we don’t. Sign here.”
