March 2022
Breaking News – Intelligence reports from Ukraine have determined that the Russian tanks stalled at the side of the road haven’t actually run out of gas. It’s actually fake news, planted by Russian Today (RT).
The truth is that these tanks are actually the first generation of Russia’s new electric tanks. In the rush to design and build enough of these superior Russian-built electric tanks, powered by superior Russian-made batteries, so that he could launch his invasion of Ukraine by the end of the Olympics in China, Vladimir Putin forgot to install EV charging stations along the route that these tanks would be taking. It’s an honest oversight, but has caused a lot of embarrassment for Putin.
Putin has dispatched Boris and Natasha of the Russian Automobile Association with a gas-powered generator to charge each tank along the convoy route. He expects the first batch of tanks to start moving again sometime early next week, with the rest in the following weeks as Boris and Natasha work their way along the convoy.
Boris would also appreciate it if his fellow comrades could drop off the occasional jerry can of gas to help keep the generator powered.
