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Words Women Use

Unknown author
This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
2. FIVE MINUTES
If she is getting dressed this is half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given 5 more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

3. NOTHING
This is the calm before the storm. This means “something” and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with “Nothing” usually end in “Fine”.

4. GO AHEAD
This is a dare, not permission. Don’t do it.

5. LOUD SIGH
This is not actually a word, but it is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A “Loud Sigh” means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over “Nothing”.

6. THAT’S OKAY
This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. “That’s Okay” means that she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

7. THANKS
A woman is thanking you. Do not question it or faint. Just say you’re welcome.

8. WHATEVER
It’s a woman’s way of saying *!#@ YOU!

9. “WHAT DID YOU SAY”
No, she’s not hard of hearing. She’s just giving you a chance to recant the stupid thing that just came out of your mouth and to either escalate the conflict by saying it louder (remember, you’ll loose) or to come up with a clever substitute that sounds pretty close to it (like instead of saying, “That’s why I hate you,” you would say, “That’s why I dated you”). WARNING: If you try to use “Nothing” as a response, she won’t accept it.

About the author

Bruce Forsyth

Bruce Forsyth served in the Royal Canadian Navy Reserve for 13 years (1987-2000). He served with units in Toronto, Hamilton & Windsor and worked or trained at CFB Esquimalt, CFB Halifax, CFB Petawawa, CFB Kingston, CFB Toronto, Camp Borden, The Burwash Training Area and LFCA Training Centre Meaford.

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