«

»

Print this Post

Police Comments from Around the Country

Unknown author

#16 – “You know, stop lights don’t come any redder than the one you just went through.”

#15 – “Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they’re new. They’ll stretch after you wear them a while.”

#14 – “If you take your hands off the car, I’ll make your birth certificate a worthless document.”

#13 – “If you run, you’ll only go to jail tired.”

#12 – “Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that’s the speed of the bullet that’ll be chasing you.”

#11 – “You don’t know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?”

#10 – “Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don’t think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I’m the shift supervisor?”

#9 – “Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I’m warning you not to do that again or I’ll give you another ticket.”

#8 – “The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?”

#7 – “Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop.”

#6 – “Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven.”

#5 – “In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC.”

#4 – “How big were those ‘Just two beers’ you say you had?”

#3 – “No sir, we don’t have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we’re allowed to write as many tickets as we can.”

#2 – “I’m glad to hear that Chief (of Police) Hawker is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail.”

The envelope please………………… AND THE WINNER IS….

#1 – “You didn’t think we give pretty women tickets? You’re right, we don’t. Sign here.”

About the author

Bruce Forsyth

Bruce Forsyth served in the Royal Canadian Navy Reserve for 13 years (1987-2000). He served with units in Toronto, Hamilton & Windsor and worked or trained at CFB Esquimalt, CFB Halifax, CFB Petawawa, CFB Kingston, CFB Toronto, Camp Borden, The Burwash Training Area and LFCA Training Centre Meaford.

Permanent link to this article: http://militarybruce.com/police-comments-from-around-the-country/

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <s> <strike> <strong>